Comic Bites

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Jokes and painful life experiences by Abigail Paul. Art assistance from robots.

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A black and white comic by Abigail Paul showing two women at a cafe table. The woman on the left asks, "Birgit, are you just using me for my English?" The woman with glasses on the right bluntly replies, "Yes." The caption below reads, "Truth, the German love language."

Comic showing a man on a date asking practical questions like "What time do stores close?" and "Where can I find the best pizza?" while his date Sara looks exhausted. Caption: "Women are not google with boobs. Please don't boogle us."

A black and white comic of a couple sitting on a sofa looking depressed. The TV shows a news anchor and the man is holding a newspaper. The caption says, I guess we were the shithole country all along.
A gamer at a desk covered in rainbow RGB gear calling someone on screen gay
A four-panel black-and-white comic titled "The Awkward German Greeting" by Abigail Paul. Panels show people crowded together and flatly exchanging a mandatory "Hallo" inside a doctor's waiting room, an elevator, and a public toilet stall. The final panel shows a crowded social party where everyone stands in dead, awkward silence.
Cartoon of a cynical woman judging fellow passengers on a train, including a vapist, a train eater and a selfie-stick user.
Comic showing a German hiker in full technical gear with backpack and hiking poles telling an American tourist "You Americans are so consumerist."
Cartoon titled 'German Small Talk': A woman asks her neighbor Hans 'How are you?' while taking out the trash. Hans responds with a cynical rant about the void.
Comic showing a person explaining "Chickens don't like penises. Most species with penises use them violently. So chickens evolved them away." Another person responds "Why can't humans do that?"
A two-panel cartoon comparing knife skills: in Europe, a person chops fresh vegetables next to wine; in the USA, a person uses scissors to open a bag of 'Food Product' next to a microwave.
Cartoon of a cemetery where a retail stand titled 'Steve’s Memorial Merch Shop' sells souvenirs next to a grave.
A two-panel cartoon comparing Emily in Paris with Emily in Frankfurt: on the left, a romanticized Emily in front of the Eiffel Tower; on the right, a realistic Emily holding a waiting number outside a grey German government office.
The Frizzening: A May 1st Horror Story
A woman realizes she's a feminist after seeing a $350 salon bill.
A black and white comic shows a woman in a car looking at a sign for "Little Piddleby," "Crinkley Bottom," and "Soggy Poppleton." Her thought bubble says, "How did these people ever have an empire?"
A line drawing of a bored man wearing headphones during a 9-person video call. His thought bubble reads, "This is the world's worst podcast."
Certified Ceiling Inspector
A black-and-white comic titled "The Stinger." A woman is startled as a wasp flies directly into her forehead. She reflexively flinches and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Her friend stands next to her with a deadpan, unimpressed expression and replies, "For what? Did it have a meeting to get to?"

Smart cartoons about life abroad, family dysfunction, and everything else you’re not supposed to talk about. Dark, dry, honest, never mean. Well. Rarely.